Casey Joiner
Surrounded by Natural Causes
“For need can blossom into all the compensation it requires. To crave and to have are as like as a thing and its shadow. For when does a berry break upon the tongue as sweetly as when one longs to taste it, and when is the taste refracted into so many hues and savors of ripeness and earth, and when do our senses know any thing so utterly as when we lack it? And here again is a foreshadowing-the world will be made whole. For to wish for a hand on one's hair is all but to feel it. So whatever we may lose, very craving gives it back to us again. Though we dream and hardly know it, longing, like an angel, fosters us, smooths our hair, and brings us wild strawberries.”― Marilynne Robinson, Housekeeping
“Surrounded By Natural Causes” is an ongoing meditation on the grief of the death of my father. About 4 years into his illness, I began to notice threads of him and our relationship emerging in my daily photography practice. For the past two years, and still now after his passing, it is my navigation of identity, loss and its nonlinear nature, unfulfilled childhood expectations, and familial bonds. Memory and regression are thoroughly explored under the disorienting light of loss.
You mention noticing glimpses of your father and your relationship with him emerging in your photographs. Was there a moment when you realized this thread of connection in your images and chose to pursue it? Or was it a pattern that appeared naturally as you looked back on your work from that time?I remember sitting in a bar with my partner and two close friends in mid December of 2022. They asked me how my Dad was doing, and my answer was "he keeps showing up in my work". I don't think I had ever even realized it until right then. After that night, I started looking again through photographs that I had been making, and it was glaringly obvious. It consumed my attention and currently still does. 
What has working on this series taught you about family love and the process of navigating grief?
Nothing prepares you for the loss of a parent. I thought I had been sort of "pre-grieving" in the months and even years leading up to his passing - I was wrong. I've learned that grief is a solitary thing, even though I have the support and love of many people, including my brother and Mother. We've got wildly different experiences and memories surrounding my Dad. We did not always have a good relationship. If I am being completely honest with myself, I am shocked at the realization of how much I actually loved him. It comes in waves. It's completely non-linear. I do not feel in control. It makes no sense, it makes perfect sense. 
Do you have a favorite image from this series? If yes, why does that particular image stand out?This is so tough. I'm not sure that I have an actual favorite, but the photograph of the corningware on a shelf is one that really gives me pause. In this project, I am often searching for the feeling of a memory, and this gives me those feelings. This set of dishware did not actually belong to anyone I knew, but when I look at it, I can feel the warmth of my Grandmother's home, and almost smell the smells that made it decidedly hers. What does love mean to you?
So many things. When I think of love, I think of attention - specifically a devoted, feeling kind of attention. For me, if I were to wonder what or who I really love, I'd just look at what I pay that kind of attention to. 
Casey Joiner is a photographer in New Orleans, LA. Her practice is loosely rooted in the documentary tradition, beholden to the actuality of her immediate surroundings.
@ce_joiner
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN PRINT IN THE LOVE ISSUE #9, SUMMER 2024